Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My Worst Fear

I was surfing the blog world this afternoon and I came upon this blog: www.leblanclife.com , after I read a few of the posts on this blog I found tears streaming down my face. This man recently lost his wife to brain cancer and is now raising his daughter on his own while trying to deal not only with his grief but his daughters too. This post made me sad for this young man but, also made me realize my worst fear in life...dying while my kids are young. I am so afraid of death...not where I will go afterwards but the aftermath that it leaves behind! I guess it is kind of a selfish fear, selfish because I would want to always be the kids mother (their only mother) and I would always want to be my husbands wife (his only wife), I would want them to remember me. I think the biggest part is....the thought of not watching the kids grow up..... it's heart wrenching!
So, I have come to this conclusion...I am going to try every day to enjoy my kids, try not to scream and get angry at the little things, try to snuggle with them as long as they will let me, enjoy my husband and encourage him. So, if god decides that my time is up... I will have laid a positive foundation as a wife and mother that will carry throughout their years!

What is your worst fear?

1 comment:

Lisa said...

That one's right on up there for me. Would someone else raise my kids the way that I would raise them? Would they know Jesus? Emily told me something convicting that the Lord had laid on their hearts. "What makes you think that I (the Lord) need you to take care of these kids?" Hmmm...that's when my selfish eyes were opened wide! So, I too attempt to treasure my baby (who's getting big) and my husband everyday. We can lift each other up!!!